Blinding Flashes of the Obvious

"Happiness Hit Her Like a Train On a Track"

2011-11-10T06:42:00.000-08:00

Florence and The Machine, in the song 'Dog Days Are Over', has some sage insight for us on the power of mirror neurons, and as such, have inspired the title of this blog post. Yup, I'm going to make a link between a musical group and neuroscience, and provide you with the link to the video. You see, mirror neurons, a recently and still debatable part of the inner workings of the human brain, are able to pick up subtle clues in others' behaviors, thereby determining that individual's intent. (If you doubt the presence of mirror neurons, take a look at the video and see if you can muster up the ability to not actually and personally feel something from the performance.)

Why has the brain supposedly developed these systems of mirror neurons? One reason for mirror neurons may be to determine whom in our path represent the classic 'friend versus foe'. Mirror neurons, therefore, would provide an individual with a hair-sensitive, barometer-like survival mechanism. They are part of what enable you to watch a movie and be moved by a performance. They're what enable you to view a person on the train and almost glean what is going on for them emotionally. Whatever is at play, while debatable, is undeniably present.

As a presenter, sales professional, or leader in business, mirror neurons enable your audience to 'see' when you are telling the truth, and when you are only trying to spin something. Often I'll work with leaders, for example, who say, "Ken, I often have to roll out strategies to my team that I myself don't believe." When I ask how they do that, they will use words like spin, sell, or act. Bottom line: All of these words used in that context mean only one thing: Lie! So, my advice to them, don't even try. The mirror neurons of your audience or people are more sensitive to intent than we might want to believe. This is why cliches and stories exist focused on advising us to tell the truth (e.g., Truth is its own reward, George Washington and the cherry tree, Honesty is the best policy, etc.) However, communicating the truth in business, well, for some, that's another story.

The bottom line: Your people can tell when you're not telling the truth. You're just not that good of an actor. So, don't even try to act. While this may sound like a cautionary tale, the good news about mirror neurons is that your intent can be contagious to an audience. If you want to lift the mood in a room, show it from the inside out. If you want to instill engagement in a client, show the client that you are engaged in them. Here is a small tactic I use in presentations when I want my audience to engage and be curious about something from PowerPoint being projected onto a screen. First, I will tell them what I want them to react to, before I show it on the screen. (Remember, the brain has trouble processing both auditory and visual stimuli simultaneously. So, voice first, then show a visual.) Then, I will show the model, concept or visual. Finally, I will turn to the visual on the screen myself, cock my head, and utter an almost imperceptible 'huh', as if I myself am curious and thinking. Without fail, the audience then leans forward and starts to talk. My curiosity has somehow transferred to them. Mirror neurons at their best.

Still unconvinced about mirror neurons? Take a look at this curious article on the impact of botox on empathy. The net, the inability for an individual who has had botox to mimic the emotions shown on someone else's face reduces his/her ability to interpret the emotions of the other person. Yup, how's that for frightening. Soon, we may have a society full of youthful, but completely un-empathetic people in our midst. (Just watch any of version of Bravo's 'The Real Housewives of...' to see that potential future in the living (albeit frozen) flesh!)

So, if you're trying to get your client, team, and/or organization to be more engaged, positive and focused, try showing that yourself. You may have more impact through the truthful demonstration of your emotions than you may realize. As a final thought, here is a small piece of advice:

A Tasty Trifle: The Proof is in the Pudding.

2011-09-17T11:49:00.000-07:00

Conducting a key note presentation for 150 leaders of any major organization can prove daunting. Doing so for a client who has expressed that the goal is to 'motivate' an audience of experienced leaders in just two hours...well, that gets my adrenalin pumping. You see, nothing, and I do mean nothing, gets me motivated like provoking experienced professionals to open up their brains and find solutions to problems they didn't even know they had, especially in two hours. Challenge!

I am happy to say that the feedback has made even this 25-year facilitator giddy. To find out some of my tips for getting feedback like this yourself, review my previous blog entries on facilitation (namely 'What is Blinding Flash Facilitation' and 'The Balancing Act'.)

I'd love to hear your success stories of facilitation done-well. So, what are you waiting for? Send them over! Let's all learn something from each other, and bring greater impact to our audiences as a result.

__________________________________________________________________


Great presentation by Ken De Loreto. His presentation gave me better insight as to what motivates my representatives. I have...used it with my team to determine their motivation and allow me to drive them better.

Thank you for bringing in someone from the outside to give us a different viewpoint on how leadership can work. Much Appreciated.

This was a very good day. Ken De Loreto was great.
Ken's presentation was extremely beneficial. I was able to think about an approach with my team and was able to be introspective about myself.
Let's get more speakers like Ken!

Ken was a great guest speaker. The topics covered directly tie in to my day to day management. It gave me another way to view and think about how to manage. I found great value in the meeting.


Great presentation and outstanding job by the presenter. Very engaging and informative.
Excellent session. One of the best meetings I've attended.

Ken De Loreto was absolutely amazing, his passion and charisma were palpable. The moment he asked people to stand up and cross their arms there was not one hesitation from the entire 150 people which shows he had everyone on the edge of the seats and he had us!! His topic and speaking points were dead on, he had great discussions and activities that kept us engaged. I thought he was wonderful and that everyone had such a positive experience.
It is great to get an external perspective.
Great design and eye opening.

We need more guest speakers such as Ken. He was energetic and memorable.

What Is 'Blinding Flash' Facilitation? 5 Tips

2011-08-20T08:59:00.000-07:00

My own work as both a facilitator and as a coach to fellow facilitators, has provided me with a few 'blinding flashes of the obvious-type' lessons in terms of what provokes learning, engagement, and results. As I prepare to lead another 'Expert Facilitation Skills' course for a client, I thought it appropriate (if for nothing other than my own clarity and prep) to highlight a few of my favorite 'Blinding Flash' facilitation tips:

1. Don't just share the stage with the audience. Let them have some of the best moments in the spotlight...down stage center.

Here is one thing you can count on. Every person finds himself or herself to be uniquely fascinating. S/he will always be more fascinating than you can ever be. So stop trying to outshine your audience. Instead, ask thought-provoking questions about their opinions, perspectives, and experiences. Stop trying to get them to focus on your content before you've shown them that you are fascinated by them and their context. Don't worry. It won't take you off topic. Instead, it can actually propel you forward, IF you listen to and link what they share in their answers to the content you have to share. For example, asking a sales audience to share some of their most recent challenges in selling will get them to define the gap between what's happening now for them and what they would prefer to happen. Then, the sales content you're about to work on with them becomes a way for them to close the very gap they have just defined. Basically, you, as a presenter, are allowing them to buy versus 'selling' them your content. It doesn't matter how research-based your content is, or how many slides you have to cover if they don't think they have a problem to solve. Just because they showed up in your session doesn't mean they're ready to buy what you have to say.

2. Press the damned 'B' key!

If you're using PowerPoint for good and not for evil, you are already aware of the 'B' key...a simple, yet powerful tool to focus attention and minimize distractions. The net: A PowerPoint slide, when projected in a room will always be bigger and brighter than you. Even if you gorge on carbs, spread your arms wide, and wear a garish print, you just can't get as big as a PowerPoint slide with 40,000 lumens of light behind it. Don't even try. Instead, help the group to focus on you by using the 'B' key when in presentation/show mode. It acts as a toggle, blacking out the screen and your slide. (Don't be nervous. Since it's a toggle, hitting the 'B' key again will bring it right back.) Try it sometime, asking your audience (as I have many times) what happens when you do blackout the slide. What you'll hear from them is that they focus directly on you when the slide is gone, and have trouble hearing what you're saying when it is being shown again. Consider your slides to be an important, but supporting player in the show. Leave your slides wandering on stage during important moments in the show and they, like an neophyte actor in bad community theatre production, will wander the stage uncomfortably, arms extended unnaturally, leaving the audience to wonder, "What are they doing? Should I be watching them? Is something about to happen? Are they drunk?" Help this supporting player exit stage left when appropriate. They won't do it on their own. You have to give this inexperienced actor the cue. The 'B' key is the cue.

3. Work with, not against, the wiring of the human brain.

Firstly, the human brain looks for every opportunity it can to rest. So, plan accordingly. Help people engage by preparing for and paying attention to Tip One above. Know that they've been in too many meetings where they are nothing more than bodies in seats. Therefore, they are not accustomed to or prepared for true engagement. This puts more pressure on you to do things differently than those previous presenters, and to give the audience members grace when they need some ramp up time to achieve a level of high engagement.
Secondly, the human brain, on the plus side, can link together completely unrelated things beautifully. Try, for example, looking at your ceiling right now. What does your ceiling have in common with downhill skiing? (If your voice inside your head is saying, "Nothing, Ken," then you're not letting it do what it is wired to do.) Look at it and see what pops into your brain. Use this closed-system wiring in your audiences' brains to let them do work and thinking that will engage them. For example, if you're teaching a management concept say something like, "In a moment, I'm going to show you a slide with a three step coaching model. I'm not going to read it to you, but I'd like you to skim it quickly, and given what you were sharing with me earlier about the challenges of coaching your people, let me know how this model relates? I'm not looking for one right answer, but rather am curious about your perspective. Ready?" (Click to next slide) Then, shut up. (This is really important.) Stay quiet, and look at them curiously. Eventually, something wonderful and insightful will come from the audience. Trust me. It happens every time. That is, if you can stay quiet long enough and not squash the process with your own nervous input.
Thirdly, the brain believes the sound of its own voice more than yours. Get this joke. Stop trying to infuse your voice inside their brain. Instead, let them come to conclusions, reach insights, and hear their own voices both verbally and internally. (Again, see Tip One above.)

4. Dare to be authentically you.

When I first started facilitating, I didn't look like, sound like, or act like any other consultant I had ever met. I thought this was a weakness, and, thereby, it was. Over time, I have learned to ask myself the question, "What is uniquely right about it being you in the room with this unique audience at this unique time?" When you can approach the session with that sort of curiosity and possibility, a subtle confidence underpins your actions. You free up to be yourself instead of some 'perfect, more robotic' version of yourself. People and their mirror neurons respond well to authenticity, but react negatively to disconnects in someone's behavior. So, take this possibility away by being yourself. Let them see you...the real you. The audience members will appreciate having a real human being in front of the room, and will show themselves to you as a result. By seeing them more fully, you are able to help them more fully. However, you can't expect them to be authentic if you're not being authentic. It starts with you. Take the leap.

5. Maybe, just maybe, you're wrong.

If, in your desire to be the smartest kid in the room, or perhaps your overwhelming desire to help, you keep shoving your content down the throats, they will resist being force-fed. You're not making fois gras, after all. Imagine the possibility that perhaps you don't have the best answers, content, or stuff. Maybe they do. (See Tip One AGAIN!) If you can imagine that you might be wrong, it can help you be more curious when a response from the group doesn't fit your preexisting models. There is more than one way to skin a cat, should you want to skin a cat. (If so, that might be something for you to discuss with your therapist.) Know that there is experience in the group that is of great, and perhaps even better, value. The group may contain answers to problems the group is tackling. It doesn't all need to come from you. Take the pressure off of yourself to be that smart. (Important prerequisite tip: Make your presentation perfect, and then cut it in half to allow for this level of engagement.)

So, what tips would you add given your own experiences? What about the above matches or doesn't match that experience? I'd love to hear it. After all, maybe, just maybe, I'm wrong!

A Stranger In Your House

2011-06-03T13:41:00.000-07:00

Being a consultant is, to many, akin to being a vampire. I know I'm going out on a limb here, but stay with me. We consultants:

Come from far-off lands versus from within your own organization's culture
Allow foreign-sounding words like 'recontextualize' to drip gracefully off of our tongues
Are feared by many for the unspeakable evil we may bring

This last statement is particularly difficult for me to write, namely because it is true. Consultants, when not operating from a place of intelligence, sensitivity, and ethics can indeed inflict harm upon an organization. I, personally, have been in the unenviable position of second or third consultant to enter into an organization's project, inheriting the detritus of inappropriate, ineffective advice (and invoices) left behind for the client. However, rest easy. Not all of us are evil. Plus, you as the client have more power than you may think.

Anyone who knows anything about vampiric lore knows that the only way a vampire can get into your home is to be invited in by the rightful owner. (So those of you who have been buying bushels of garlic and having your recyclable spring water bottles blessed, unless you've invited that pesky vampire into your home, you're fine. Good news. This should save you money on your grocery bill.) To that end, it is you and you alone, as the 'rightful owner', who can choose to invite us in. Invite the wrong consultant (referred to as a 'yahoo consultant') into your den, and you will be left with chaos and pain. I have often heard clients say, "We had some 'consultant' in here who really messed things up." "Yeah, we had some guy in here who tried to fix this, but..." "Do you know ____? The training she did for us was a complete waste of money." Frightened yet? You should be. For from the outside, we all look the same. Harmless. Caring. Even Attractive. Do your homework by talking to the other villagers in your network. Look deeply into our eyes. Allow your mirror neurons to inform your intuition, and extend your invitation wisely.

Given this lurking danger, it might seem best to just lock the doors, stay inside, and avoid contact with anyone who is not from the village. However, be brave. Invite the right consultant into your organization and we will be able to see things you yourself can't. Working in partnership with you, we are able to bring outside experience, research, and perspective into your home, creating a magical alchemy when combined with your own insider's knowledge of your company, its culture and issues. This is the value of a good consultant. We can see things and say things you can't. We can never replace you. We can, however, enhance and freshen your efforts, like a fresh breeze from over the mountains might freshen your actual home....if you open the windows and let it in.

Why am I writing this post you may ask? I had a chance just yesterday to wrap up my facilitation of a two-day leadership session for experienced managers and directors at a client site. In the final activity, we sat together in a large circle of 30 participants, and talked about organizational boundaries they saw to applying the very fundamental and basic skills (coaching, feedback, communication, change leadership) learned in the course. I was struck, yes struck, by the circles in which this circle of experienced leaders talked.

We need to take risks.
What happens if we speak up? Will we get in trouble?
We need permission from executives to apply these skills.
Our executives don't use these skills themselves.
Our people should go to this course, too.
If our people know this, won't they know what we're doing 'to them'?

It was fascinating. Finally, after having listened to this never ending circular logic, I called them on what they were doing, reflecting their own words back to them. It stopped them in their tracks. Their mouths opened, but no sound came out. They stared at me in disbelief and horror, as if I were a vampire. After what seemed like an eternity, they smiled and breathed a deep sigh of relief, realizing at that moment that the stranger that they had invited into their home was actually there to help.

My hope is that, now that I've gone like an apparition at the first break of day, they will continue their work. If not, I may just have to show up unannounced. After all, I have been invited in once already. There's no stopping me now.

Are You Ready for Your Close-up?

2011-03-30T09:32:00.000-07:00

There once was a time in this business when I had the eyes of the whole world! But that wasn't good enough for them, oh no! They had to have the ears of the whole world too. So they opened their big mouths and out came talk. Talk! TALK!
- Norma Desmond Sunset Boulevard

It is difficult to not get lost in a great film like Sunset Boulevard, and if you haven't seen it, you've surely heard quotes bantered around that stem from the 1950 film, such as, "All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up."

In thinking about leading great on camera webinars, my mind wanders to what we know to be true as audience about great films and the magical alchemy of words, performances, and images. What should be different about engaging an audience in a webinar? What indeed? However, I am continually surprised at what passes for learning in a virtual construct. The primary star in most, as in many a mediocre sales presentation, is the PowerPoint slide. Bullet-laden, text-heavy, and two-dimensional. Now, I don't know about you, but I can't remember the last Hollywood release I saw starring a PowerPoint presentation. So, why should we make them the stars of our webinars? You, on the contrary, have the opportunity to be the most valuable visual aid to propel learning, if you use your tools. These tools are the same tools used by effective actors in a memorable performance: Eyes. Face. Voice. Gestures.

"Oh, Ken," you say, "I am not an actor. I'm a business person." On that I agree. You are a business person, and if you are a business person that is charged with engaging others in learning or 'communicating' something, you would be foolish to ignore the fact that bullets don't create engagement. People learn from, buy from, and engage with people.

Recently, when conducting an online webinar I was told by a participant that she found me fun to watch. I asked her what she meant, and she said she wasn't sure, but that it was impossible to not pay attention. Another said, "You have great eyes for this type of presentation. It feels as if you're actually looking right at me. I know you're not, but it feels that way." Now, that is not something that happens by accident. It is about using a 1.5" video image of myself to create the illusion of contact. Here are a few tips:

If you have a choice of adding a camera pod for yourself as the leader, DO! If you hate seeing yourself on camera, get over it! It's not about you.
I light and situate myself to create a clear frame for my face and small hand gestures
My notes are on the screen, built into my PowerPoint to avoid having to look away from the camera as much as possible. There should be nothing to distract you from engaging with the camera. If your eyes leave the camera (and the audience) their eyes will leave you and the webinar.
When I pose a question to the audience, I do not look at my notes or away from the camera to prepare something. Instead, as if I were face-to-face, I lean in to the camera, making 'eye contact' and pausing. In turn, it becomes near impossible for the participants to not feel seen, and therefore to think and respond in kind.
When a participant is answering, I 'look at them' showing my reactions to what they're saying. Yes, I'm looking at my camera, but I'm mentally looking through to the person on the other end. This may seem so obvious, but I am constantly seeing webinar leaders looking away when a participant is speaking. Would you do that in a face-to-face class or while on a date? Try it next time and see if it gets you a second date!
I would be leading you astray if I did not underscore the importance of rehearsal. The more comfortable you are with your script (Ideally, having gotten 'off book'!), and the technology used to lead the webinar, the better able you will be to focus and engage. Participants mirror neurons can instantaneously sense if you are faking it. So, my advice: Don't fake it! Do whatever you need to do to be truly present. If you are unsure of what you're saying, or unsure of your content, it will show. So, learn your lines and prepare enough to let go of your script. Imagine watching an actor walk around on stage with a script during a performance. Silly, right? So, why do it?
Get yourself a great producer. I would be lost without the partnership of a talented producer...someone who focuses on the technicalities, details, and flow during the webinar. Knowing the producer is watching issues of participant connectivity, break out room setup, polls, etc. enables me to remain focused on the audience and the camera as my lens through to them.
Finally, no BOTOX ever! This is not a still image of yourself (as played by Nicole Kidman) or some retouched yearbook picture on the screen. It is meant to be a living person, you! So, show life in your expression, eyes, voice, and gestures. Don't focus on being perfect. Focus on being authentic, accessible, and engaging.

As homework, watch for those moments when you as an audience member become engaged or disengaged, whether in a film or a company webinar. If you consider yourself as a test audience, you will very quickly get what works and what doesn't. Let your words be truly communicated by using all of your tools. And if you have to make a choice, always choose face. To quote Norma Desmond:

We didn't need dialogue. We had faces!

Speed Kills!

2011-02-01T11:54:00.000-08:00

Last week I had the chance to facilitate a two-day session for a client where the same problem kept surfacing from the group again and again. For most of the participants, speed was the perceived name of the game. They described how they found themselves constantly under pressure to immediately reply to emails, answer questions from executives, and even produce customized reports over a holiday weekend with no warning. With just a few questions from me it became clear that often an underlying assumption was being made: time was of the essence. Seldom was a question asked to clarify the actual time frame for the request. As a matter of fact, the thought of even asking such a daring question seemed to the participants to be potentially career limiting. It isn't difficult to understand how this happens. Often organizations do have a bias for action. High-performers are seen as those who can think on their feet, multi-task, save the day, and make magic appear out of thin, oxygen-deprived air. Seldom does anyone in work say something to us like, "Hey, it's really not as urgent as I thought. Please take your time on this request and get it to me when it's just dripping with insight from you."

Assuming that Speed = Results, and that in that speed perfection is the goal, creates both undue pressure and eventual rework. Even the participants in the group were able to articulate that sentiment. Let me say something bold. (You may want to take a deep cleansing breath in through the nose and out through the mouth before continuing.) None of us are perfect. There I've said it. While this is filed under 'B' for a 'Blinding Flash of the Obvious' to me, it was clearly something that made the participants in this session both anxious and confused. (Trigger amygdala here.) One participant spoke to me privately about the immense pressure to dance faster and faster in her role. As I watched the tears speed down her face while describing her current predicament, my heart broke. Yes, some of that pressure is real, but what of that pressure may be assumed, perceived, and even imagined?

To help those in the session, and those of you caught on a business treadmill turning at a dangerous pace, I present this article from Psychology Today by Heidi Grant Halvorsen, Ph.D., and my own humble advice: learning is constant cycle of Action AND REFLECTION. Depriving yourself of the chance to look back at what you did and learn from it leads one head-first into the inevitable cliche of history repeating itself. Ah, Einstein's definition of Insanity just popped into my head: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. So, slow down. It's only work! (Now if you can just get your amygdala to believe that.)

Curiouser and Curiouser!

2010-11-23T09:40:00.000-08:00

First Day of School, bracing myself for what is about to happen. Read on.

Miss Gardner was my first grade teacher. Deep in my hippocampus sits (or more aptly stated 'stands') a very clear, if not biased, image of Miss Gardner: looming, large brown helmut-like hair, mint green polyester pants suit. My mother, who is the keeper of the official Ken De Loreto shrine, has in her possession my first grade report card illustrating both my earned grades and the open-ended comments of one Miss Gardner. On that report card is one particularly potent note: Kenneth is a very good student, but he needs to learn to mind his own business.

AHA! There it is. The first official attempt to kill my budding curiosity. You see, I was that child who would turn to classmates to ask them why they were doing what they were doing in the way in which they were doing it. I have one particular memory of asking Margaret Clapp why she tied her shoes the way she did. (This was my attempt to learn how to tie my own shoes.) That's the kind of kid I was...curious, and in Miss Gardner's eyes, unable to mind my own business. Little did Miss Gardner know that one day my business would be to not mind my own business. Today, part of my business prowess lies in my believing that I do not have business prowess. I must constantly be curious, willing to ask the naive, childlike questions that might yield information that can better inform my path forward with a client. My goal today in my work is to ask the questions that no one else is daring to ask, enabling me to learn something that no one else is learning, and through that, enabling me to help my clients in a way in which no one has yet been able to help. My mother used to call this 'playing Mickey the Dunce'. What she meant by that was that she would dare to play 'dumb', and through that ask even the most basic questions about a situation, for example with an auto mechanic trying to upsell her on repairs her car didn't actually need. Good going, Mom!

Fortunately for me, as you can glean from the above statement, my Mother was not one to stifle my curiosity or creativity. In fact, she let it run rampant. In talking with her about this years later, she has helped me understand why. In her own schooling, under the thumbs of Catholic nuns, her own curiosity and creativity were discouraged. For example, as a natural lefty, the nuns continually tried to force her to write with her right hand, as was common practice in the day. I have the same memory of sitting in Miss Gardner's lap at the front of the room with her hand guiding my right hand to take over for my dominant left hand. Both the nuns and Miss Gardner failed to successfully convert my Mother and I to right-handedness. Both the nuns and Miss Gardner (and every teacher I had after her) failed in killing my natural curiosity. My weakness, that insatiable inability to mind my own business, was never 'fixed'.

Flash forward to this past weekend, when at the end of a meal in a Chinese restaurant I opened my fortune cookie to reveal the following:

True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing.

Apparently, even a lowly fortune cookie knows that there is great power in being curious. Now, if only we can get the educational system to recognize the same. This begs me asking of you:

"What questions have you not asked for fear of looking stupid?"
"What might you learn if you dared to ask them?"
"What would happen if you let yourself be childlike (not childish) in an important meeting?"
"What might happen if you, like a child, asked 'Why' more often?"

Whether you be in sales, service, leadership, facilitation, or even fortune cookie manufacturing, seek to understand what your ego is afraid to admit you don't already know. Allow yourself to be who you were years ago, before someone deemed you to be an expert in your craft. Dare to be childlike...curious...and to not mind your own business. Maybe, just maybe, your business will improve as a result of what you learn. Maybe, just maybe, today should be 'Bring Your Child to Work Day'...that child being you.

Stop Acting. Start Being.

2010-11-03T19:39:00.000-07:00

Many of you know that in addition to my business consulting practice, I am also an actor. Just this past weekend, I ended a well-received run of 'The Maids' by Jean Genet. So, an actor's craft is fresh on my mind. Coincidentally, just today, a prospective client asked me a provocative question. "What have you learned from your work as an actor that informs your coaching and facilitation." (Also synergistically just today, a dear colleague of mine at The Forum Corporation forwarded me a write-up from The Conference Board entitled 'Leadership As Performance Art'.) Apparently, the fates are encouraging me to blog about my thoughts on the link between leadership and acting.

Back to the prospective client and her question: As I heard my answer to her question roll off my tongue, I was again reminded of the indelible link that has been forged for me between my experience 'on the boards' and my time working with board members, their organizations, and their people. Acting is about being. You see, when trying to tackle any character, you must find the truth in that character. Acting as a word has gotten, in my humble opinion, a bad rap. The word 'acting' has become synonymous with 'lying'. Well, when poorly done, it is lying. When done well, it is about allowing a character to actually live through you truthfully.

This daunting task of finding the truth in a character is difficult enough, and when a man is playing a character in Genet's 'The Maids', it is made all the more difficult. For those of you who know the play, you already know the punch line. For those of you who don't, Genet originally wrote this three character play about two murderous sisters (the maids) and their unsuspecting mistress to be played by men. Odd? Yes. Challenging? Indeed. How does a man who is clearly not a woman find any truth in playing a woman? From a business perspective, how does anyone who is clearly not a leader find any truth in 'playing' a leader? Simply pretending and putting on a character's (or leader's) clothing is not enough, and yet it happens all too often. Just think about some of the movies, plays, or presentations you have seen in which it was clear to you as an audience member that the performer was not believable. Even if you've never acted yourself, you somehow are able to tell if you believe a performance. How is that possible?

One reason for this ability to sense that lack of believability is the fact that our brains have within them multiple systems comprised of something called mirror neurons. These mirror neurons are designed to understand the actions, intent and emotions of others. The reason for this is based in a human need to survive. Our brains are constantly sussing out if we can trust the behaviors of those around us. This is true when watching a performance, in our personal lives, and indeed in our business lives.

Now, you may be asking, "But, Ken, why is my brain and its mirror neurons trying to determine my likelihood of survival in my organization." Let me trace a likely path for you. You are invited to attend a meeting comprised of your boss, peers, and key stakeholders. In that meeting, your boss is presenting changes that are coming to the structure of the organization. You see your leader using all of those leader-like skills to promote how exciting the change will be. However, in watching closely, you sense that something isn't right. You quickly begin to wonder if your leader actually believes and supports the changes that are coming. It's not anything you can put your finger on. S/He is saying all of the right things. The words in the script are being articulated exactly as written, but you just don't believe the performance. Next, your brain begins to wonder if the changes are good or very, very bad. If they are bad, they might impact your ultimate success. You've seen things like this happen before, and know only too well how the story ends. Someone ends up not producing and being let go. If that person is you, there goes your salary, you won't be able to pay your bills, and you'll end up living in a cardboard box on the street. While that is perhaps overly dramatic, the brain, in its desire to help you survive, will worry about that possibility. Your mirror neurons are trying to help you survive by helping you to almost instantaneously read the intent of your leader.

So, if you are a leader, a sales professional, or anyone who ever has to communicate anything to anyone at work (and that should be all of you), think twice before 'acting' as a synonym for 'spinning' or dare I say 'lying'. If I had a dollar for every time I have been asked by class participants how to 'spin' something to their people. My advice: Don't! Consider that most of us are just not that good at acting, and our audiences are all to able to critique a performance they deem to be less than believable. Their brains are wired for just that activity. Instead, allow yourself to truthfully represent what you believe. This is often bantered around these days in business as transparency. Call it what you will. Whether your on stage or in a conference room, I call it being honest. Now, I'm not going to tell you how to do this, just as I wouldn't give you line readings to help you play your character. In the acting world, that is just rude. In acting, it is up to the actor (with the guiding hand of a sensitive director) to find that truth, and so I leave that task to you.

Break a leg!

The Balancing Act: Facilitating at the Egg-spert Level

2010-10-15T10:38:00.000-07:00

Take a good look at the image above. I'm showing you this picture of an egg balanced on a rock not simply because it was available and free (I hope!), but rather to illustrate a critical lesson that many of us in the metier of Facilitation have learned: Expert facilitation takes more than just a foundation of solid skills. It's more than just where to stand, how to use your hand gestures, and how to clearly provide exercise instructions. Those are table stakes. Expert facilitation takes balance. The balance to which I refer is not of the yoga-, diet-, or athletic footware-type. It is the balance needed to flexibly manage the many dilemmas that one encounters when trying to facilitate learning. Often in our world, we banter around words like facilitation and dilemma. Sometimes they begin to lose their meaning. Here are four foundational definitions from Merriam-Webster for your consideration:

Facilitation: to make easier: help bring about
Expert: having, involving, or displaying special skill or knowledge derived from training or experience
Dilemma: an argument presenting two or more equally conclusive arguments
Balance: a means of judging or deciding: mental and emotional steadiness

Next for your consideration, a brief, recent and true story:

Maddox is a talented, experienced, and accomplished 'facilitator' brought into a client's faculty along with me and several others. Her task, as shared by all of us, was to deeply learn about the client's business, the challenges of its target population, and the designs to be used in helping said audience. Nothing surprising here. It's what we do.

During a prep call with Maddox, I had a flash of intuition, or, perhaps better described, I saw a red flag waving high and wide. That red flag came when I heard Maddox describe her preparation process, and what she had done to that point. Rather than a lack of preparation (a chronic issue for many), Maddox was prepared to the nth degree. Perhaps, too much so. You may be asking, "...but, Ken, how can too much preparation be a problem? I thought ample preparation was good."

My answer: Yes and No. Preparation, like so many other elements of expert facilitation, is about balance. Prepare enough to ground yourself, but not too much as to lock yourself into a script. Prepare to engage and adapt versus preparing for one prescribed path in a session. After all, once the audience is 'on stage' with you, all bets placed in a predetermined script are null and void. The audience has their own script, they've never seen your script, and they would probably like their script better than yours anyway. Therein lies Maddox's challenge: By having over-prepared, she swung the pendulum too far to one side of a classic facilitation dilemma. She became rigid. Overly focused on one particular path, agenda, and timing plan which got in the way of her engaging and creating energy with and from the audience.

Long story short: The client saw Maddox's imbalanced dilemma at play in the classroom, and the session lose (in their words to me) "energy and engagement". The client removed her immediately from the faculty. Ouch! (Hey, whether we like it or not, they're the client and don't need to give us as vendors second chances. So much for learning being a constant cycle of action and reflection!) Now, don't get nervous. I'm not stating that preparation is bad. I am saying that too much is too much, just as too little is too little.

With the above stated, 'expert' facilitation is a balancing act, one that requires the facilitator to both balance a multitude of dilemmas and manage his/her own internal biases about those dilemmas. For example, I'm a driving, control-oriented person by nature. (It's true. It has taken years for me to get to a point where I actually know and accept that in myself, but that's for another blog...or a therapy session.) When I'm falling behind on time in a session, my bias (and desired choice if I had my druthers) is to drive forward on the agenda at the sacrifice of participant engagement. (So, what happened to Maddox is very personal to me.) However, I have learned in the past that this preexisting bias will not serve me well. Nor will erring completely on the side of engaging the audience at the expense of the agenda and objectives. Nothing irks a client more than seeing incompleted sections of a class. So, I've had to learn to manage and respect my own instincts, while entertaining options. I have to consider how to manage time while engaging the audience thoughtfully and efficiently to promote learning.

The dilemmas inherent in facilitation are ample and challenging. In working recently on an 'expert facilitation skills' course with David Carder from The Forum Corporation, we discussed together many of these dilemmas, identifying approximately 50 classic 'expert facilitation' dilemmas, including:

Drawing on the group's experience vs. Citing research-based tools, and tactics
Challenging vs. Supporting participants
Showing empathy vs. Offering objectivity
Allowing dominant voices to be heard vs. Encouraging all participants to have equal voice
Exploring and expanding vs. Driving to application
Planning specific approaches vs. Being open to discover 'in the moment' approaches
Innoculating against objections vs. Provoking objections to further learning

As you read the above, you might have had some visceral reactions to one side of a stated dilemma. (For example, that research trumps participant experience.) If so, you have just surfaced your own bias, one that might trip you up while under pressure at the front of the room. You may think you have figured this out, but the brain continually challenges us to deal with dilemmas. It actually hates dilemmas. One reason for this is that the reward center of the brain is triggered by the mere act of making 'a choice', regardless of if that choice is right or wrong. So, when under pressure to balance a facilitation dilemma in the classroom, the reward center of our brains may become triggered by choosing one side of the dilemma, immediately throwing that dilemma out of balance. (See Maddox's story above.)

The first step in dealing with this unfortunate reality is to recognize that these are dilemmas at play for us while facilitating. There is no single 'right' choice. It is a balancing act that requires us to use judgment and manage our emotions and biases, or risk being thwarted. Some of us get to the place of having better judgment through experience...the old trial and error. David and I are working on that course I mentioned, and I'll be sure to let you know what I discover after having tested it with facilitators desiring to build expert-level skills.

Who knows? Perhaps we're onto something here. Perhaps not. Perhaps the reward center of my brain has been triggered by thinking we are onto something. Oh, well...time will tell. Perhaps you will tell. So, what do you think? What have you discovered over time about 'expert facilitation'? What resonates or not for you about the above. I look forward to hearing your perspective, and then balancing it with my own. Ah, balance.

For those of you still fixated on balancing that egg in the picture above, I did a little research for you. Guess what? Yup, there is no one single answer. There are many possible choices. Here is a link to help you. http://www.wikihow.com/Balance-an-Egg

When your bewildered colleagues ask you what you're doing with the egg, just tell them you're developing egg-spert facilitation skills.

My Work As a Small Kitchen Appliance

2010-08-31T12:42:00.000-07:00

I've often been asked why I love doing what I do. Usually that question is quickly followed by a second more curious one. "What do you actually do, Ken?" (Coincidentally, I was once told that you know you have a really good job when people don't understand what it is that you do. I guess I have a really good job.) To answer that inquiry, I've tried using the lingo of the trade and words such as "transformation", "strategy", and "personal/organizational effectiveness" to varied results. Frankly, I've seen more glimmers of understanding spark in people's eyes when I dial back on the fancy language and use metaphors to describe my work. So, to that end, I have come to think of myself as a version of the small, but crucial, kitchen appliance: The Can Opener.

You see, my work, in my own view, is to help people open up their heads and hearts to reveal the great stuff that sits preserved and vacuum-packed inside. This is rendered especially challenging given the fact that the air tight seal in place feels to many like it will keep their contents safe from contaminants. Enter me: The Ken Opener, a humble aid for helping people to not only open up, but willingly stir the contents, and maybe add some spice to the mix.

This facet of my role became clear again to me after a recent two-day session for a client. In that session, I watched people enter into the room closed, tight, arms-folded and ready to resist. At the end, in seeing the evaluations and hearing the comments made to me in between the good-bye hugs, I was struck at the journey people can take during two days. I asked a few of those participants what helped them get there.

"You asked me questions I haven't been asked before. You made me think differently."
"I came in not wanting to be here, and now realize that I've learned things I needed to learn."
"Even when I wanted to tune out, I couldn't. I couldn't stop thinking."
"I am actually excited to get back to work. No, seriously. I can't wait to try out what I've learned."

Ah, the 'Ken Opener' strikes again, helping people to open up to new approaches and new possibilities at work. I am also often asked if after all these years I get bored doing what I do. The answer is a loud and resounding "NO!" If all I were doing was teaching content, then I would have left this work years ago. However, being given the opportunity to see people open up, and being some part of that process is immensely fulfilling to me.

I suppose I'm writing this to give you a sense of what I do and why I do it, but also to challenge you in your work to help people move from a state of closed to open. Consider how you in your work can help those around you to think, and to actually discover new insights while they're with you. Accept resistance as a part of the learning process to be valued and embraced. The brain, is after all, a closed-system, in need of coaxing in order to open up, usually against its will. Ask more and better questions. Shut up more. Listen. Engage. Then, simply heat, serve and enjoy.

Your Body of Work

2010-08-13T07:04:00.000-07:00

I don't enjoy being upstaged. I don't mind sharing the stage, but being upstaged rubs me the wrong way, particularly when the offensive upstaging is carried out by an egotistical actor, or even worse a PowerPoint slide.

This week, I facilitated a two-day leadership course for a client, and was struck by comments made by some of the participants. Here are a few of their quotable quotes:

"I could listen to you all day long."
"You should be on Broadway!"
"You are making me think in ways I've never thought before."
"Watching you, I now know why my team meetings are so low on participation."

These comments reinforced again for me the important role we play in engaging our audiences not only with what we present, but how we present it. I'm not suggesting that we become theatrical performers. (Although an improv class wouldn't hurt.) What I am suggesting is that you, whether presenting to a large group or to a small team on a conference call, consider the intentional use of what is the most important visual aid you have: You!

Many of us have heard references to statistics about how we communicate, and the importance and role of body language and tone of voice in that communication. Often, the statistics cited are that 55% of our understanding of a message is driven by body language, 38% by tone of voice, and only a paltry 7% by the actual words used. Whether you agree with these exact statistics or not, the fact is undeniable: Words alone do not give us complete understanding. (Yes, even in a novel, where the writer, if successful, must use just the right words to help us create visual pictures, see action, and hear implied tone from characters.) This is why we are able to know that a couple is arguing with each other clear across a restaurant, or how we can follow what is happening on foreign language television even though we don't speak that language ourselves. To that end, until PowerPoint figures out how to let us incorporate (or even insinuate) body language and tone of voice in slides, we, as presenters, must fill that gap. If not, we leave our audiences with less than complete understanding, and even worse, potential misinterpretation of our message.

One of my participants asked about my thoughts on the impact of social networking on these statistics. I imagine that, often, the need for true, deep 'understanding' in a social networking setting is lower than in a highly-charged business discussion between Marketing and Sales, for example. After all, how important is it that you truly understand a tweet like "OMG I love my Yorkie to bits"? I also imagine that the emotions and egos at play in that highly-charged business meeting will lead to greater chance of misinterpretation. (Ah, the Ladder of Inference strikes again!)

If you want to increase understanding, thought, and engagement for your team, audience, boss, etc., increase the intentional use of your own body and tone to drive that understanding. Will you feel goofy? Perhaps. However, I'd rather you feel goofy than be misunderstood, or even worse...boring.

Ken, why do people get ideas in the shower?

2010-07-23T12:16:00.000-07:00

This was the question asked of me by a classroom participant yesterday. Frankly, while it may be one of most random questions I've ever received while facilitating, it was also vaguely flattering. This participant believed that, as a result of our time together in a leadership session, I might hold the key to such deep and profound knowledge. My immediate thought: What a great topic for a blog post! While I could just guess at the reason behind this phenomenon, we're always better supported by a little formal research.

Researcher Graham Wallis, in 1913, outlined a description of what happens as people approach problems with the objective of coming up with creative solutions. He described his four-stage process as follows:

In the preparation stage, we define the problem, need, or desire, and gather any information the solution or response needs to account for, and set up criteria for verifying the solution's acceptability.
In the incubation stage, we step back from the problem and let our minds contemplate and work it through. Like preparation, incubation can last minutes, weeks, even years.
In the illumination stage, ideas arise from the mind to provide the basis of a creative response. These ideas can be pieces of the whole or the whole itself, i.e. seeing the entire concept or entity all at once. Unlike the other stages, illumination is often very brief, involving a tremendous rush of insights within a few minutes or hours.
In verification, the final stage, one carries out activities to demonstrate whether or not what emerged in illumination satisfies the need and the criteria defined in the preparation stage.

My hypothesis is that the shower is an ideal (albeit wet) place for some of us to move from the incubation phase of problem solving to illumination. The mix of the distraction-minimizing white noise of water, the mundane nature of the daily (I hope) task of showering, the muscle-relaxing warmth, and, perhaps even the steam opening up the nasal passages to allow for greater oxygen flow to the brain, might just result in a perfect storm for creativity.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I do not recommend that any of you involved in leading teams install group showers as a way to boost innovation and creativity. I have a feeling that showering with co-workers might prove distracting, and therefore inhibit the incubation stage.

My only regret is that my Mac isn't waterproof. I might have typed a more insightful post had I done so in the shower. (Apple, if you're reading this, I have dibs on the waterproof laptop!)

Lucy: A Dog and Her Blog

2010-06-25T06:44:00.000-07:00

Yes, you read that correctly. For her first birthday this past April, my gift to Lucy, our rescued Boston Terrier/Maltese mix (aka Baltese), was a page on Facebook. Please don't write me off as one of those 'weird animal-lover' types. Creating a page for Lucy was a practical decision. You see, I had been sharing pictures and updates on her progress from ill puppy to strong girl on my own Facebook page. I saw the interest she and her journey provoked amongst a group of my friends, and decided to let her updates come directly from the horse's mouth...or dog's mouth, in this case. So, on a whim, on her birthday, I listed her as a 'public figure' named 'Lucy', posted a few pictures, and sent out a notice to that select, small group of dog-loving friends. What I planned, if I planned anything, was simply a place to post Lucy pix. What I didn't expect was a personal experiment in social networking.

With no advertising, promotion, or publicizing, Lucy is up to 79 fans on Facebook, and only 27 of those are linked to me. In less than two months, Lucy has somehow acquired 52 fans that are not connected to me or to my friends. Such is the power of social networking. One need only to look at the locations (See below) to see networking in action.

United States = 37

United Kingdom = 30

Australia = 2

France = 2

New Zealand = 2

Jordan = 1

Kenya = 1

Mexico = 1

Malaysia = 1

Jordan, Kenya, Mexico and Malaysia? Really? Even though it's only one person in each of those countries, it's one person in these countries receiving regular posts and updates from my dog Lucy. In the UK, it appears that a small contingent of school-aged tweens are following her. (Lucy takes that fact and the associated responsibility very seriously.) She's also gotten a number of human Lucy's as fans. People are talking to her. She's talking back. They're commenting on her trials and tribulations like when she has to take yet another bath, or about the day she ate an entire box of ginger snap cookies while waiting in the car for me. (Oh, and I got some flack from her fans about having left her in the car for that hour!) It's fascinating stuff for her, but for humans? What's the interest? She's given her followers advice on pet care, being an adopted child, having friends from different backgrounds and colors, accepting and loving her deaf cousin Mimi, and more.

Frankly, she's a better, more thoughtful blogger than I am. She's teaching me a lot, both about the power of social networking, and about what people like. Now, if only I can figure out how to turn Lucy's page into an income-producer. Oh, I just had a flash of 'Gypsy', and of Mama Rose with Gypsy Rose Lee. With that said, I'll curb my stage mother inclinations, and let Lucy just be herself. Pretty.

(Lucy can be found on Facebook listed as 'Lucy - Public Figure'.)

YOUR BRAIN ON COMPUTERS: Hooked on Gadgets, and Paying a Mental Price

2010-06-09T12:36:00.000-07:00

From The New York Times:

Scientists say our ability to focus is being undermined by bursts of information from e-mail and other interruptions.

http://nyti.ms/b0kK8b

Mind the Gap: Facilitators Falling to the Rails

2010-05-07T07:21:00.000-07:00

According to Wikipedia:

"Mind the gap" is a warning to train passengers of the gap between the train door and the station platform. It was introduced in 1969 by the London Underground.

You see, at some point in 1968, it had become 'impractical' for station attendants to warn passengers of the potential danger of falling to the rails. (Wow! That triggers a future blog entry about job/role descriptions and meeting the needs of customers, but I digress.)

Flash forward to today, where it is apparently 'impractical' for many organizations to see that their facilitators/trainers/presenters (call them what you will) are also in danger of falling to the rails. In this case, the gap is not a physical one from platform to train, but a skill-based gap from scripted presenter to engaging facilitator of learning and behavioral change. I'm continually struck by the norm of mediocrity that permeates most organizations' training resources. That may seem harsh to some of you, but it's difficult for me to see this as an impractical issue, easily addressed with a catchy slogan and accompanying t-shirts.

My personal journey across that gap began 23 years ago. (I know, I'm miraculously well-preserved!) Having auditioned for and been selected for a 'training cadre' at a major financial institution, I was a blank canvas. Ok, truth be told, I was not entirely blank. You see, only children, of which I am one, often develop the gift of the gab. In addition, I had performed in a few productions in high school and college. I knew how to get up on stage. Hmm...now that I see that in black and white, I realize that this may have been the very gap I personally needed to mind. I was accustomed to memorizing lines, blocking, lighting cues and then performing a piece as directed and written. Audience engagement in those cases is mainly visible in applause, hopefully. The thought of venturing off book, or, even worse, inviting the audience on stage with me, was terrifying. Bottom line: I had a lot to learn!

I'll spare you the remaining details of my 23-year long odyssey from presenter to facilitator, except to say that the journey was arduous, and only possible due to the the right coaches, mentors, and role models.

So, here are my questions to you:

Do you (or your training resources) have the right stuff to truly engage an audience and provoke thought?
Do you/they get stage fright at the thought of venturing off script?
Do you/they prefer a well-behaved, polite, and distanced audience seated behind an invisible fourth wall?
Do you/they have the deft and skill to mind the gap?

If not, what are you doing about it? Has this gap, as for station attendants in 1968, become 'impractical' for you and your organization to do anything about? I know what I hope your answer is, but tell me what you think. For those of you who have also made this transition, let me know what you have done to make a difference for yourself or your organization. Let's hear it.

All aboard!

You must remember this: A class is just a class...

2010-04-25T14:18:00.000-07:00

...a webinar is just a webinar. Or is it? Forgive the poetic license in adapting the lyrics of the classic song immortalized in 'Casablanca, but just as all films are not created equally, neither are classes or webinars.

Over the years, I have spent many a client-facing moment trying to recalibrate their expectations and definitions of what a 'great class/workshop/session/program' looks like. Now, I'm finding myself needing to do the very same thing for the topic of webinars. It's amazing to me how strongly people react to the idea of deploying behaviorally-centered learning through the modality of e-learning. "Quackery! It can't be done," they declare. Indeed, they're not completely off base.

If e-learning to you and your organization is nothing more than a dense series of PowerPoint slides accompanied by a voice track or conference call line, then you're right. E-learning (delivered as such) will not change behavior. Similarly, if face-to-face classes to you and your organization are a dense series of PowerPoint slides accompanied by a scripted, design-constrained, lack-luster trainer, then your classes aren't changing behavior either. So, what is one to do?

Let's start with the obvious and familiar context of classroom-based learning. You remember what it was like years ago. We crammed slides into a session in the name of detail. We over-architected designs in the name of the Instructional Design Process. Then, we kidded ourselves into believing that PowerPoint transitions, builds, animations, and clip art would make for an engaging session. Remember? We had to take a journey to understand how to ratchet up engagement, increase learning retention, and boost Level III results with our classroom designs, materials, and facilitation. The same journey is now underfoot with webinars and e-learning. Here are a few learnings I've personally had of late regarding this journey.

Facilitation skills do not translate directly from the classroom to webinars. Just as an actor who is trained on the stage must adapt his/her technique for on-camera work, so it is also true for facilitators. Expect to be stretched, or more accurately 'shrunk'. Grand gestures and dynamic energy used to work a room must be reshaped to the world of webinars.
Simple and elegant are always better. Unless you're truly shooting for rote memorization of concepts, err on the side of more dialogue, more real-world context, and higher levels of engagement in fewer topics, models, and tools (and, of course, slides!)
Context is king. Consider that while classroom learning may provide us with more time with the learner, the setting is artificial. Yes, classroom-learning allows us to explore a topic deeply, but at the cost of real-world context. Webinars may be focused, BUT as soon as the webinar is over, learners are immediately thrust back into the real world. They can't help but compare and contrast what they've explored with you against their work challenges. Use this! Design for it! Let the webinar's reach extend both before and after with some simple twists of your design. Again, don't over-architect! Do leverage closer context as a true design element.

So, consider this song finished...for now. I have a feeling there's another verse bubbling inside of me. As I learn more, I'll share more with you. Let me hear your reactions and learnings. Let's take this journey together. We may be safer in numbers.

Cheers,

Ken

Farewell Tom

2010-02-11T05:42:00.000-08:00

A number of you have reacted to my blog entry about Tom and his dual fight with brain cancer and an insensitive real estate agent. Unfortunately, Tom passed away last week. His fight came and ended so fast. The picture above was taken less than a year ago in Miami before a night out on the town. They say that people come into our lives for a reason. Tom came into mine to teach me to smile more, march boldly into opportunities, and to enjoy people. You see, sometimes, I can get intense, and dare I say it, moody. Tom, on the contrary, was always willing to laugh at himself, and to brainstorm new ways to be creative and bring beauty into the world. He will be missed.

Make this a day to reach out to someone you love and let them know. If you're at work, and things are intense, let yourself laugh a bit more. Life truly is short. Tom would appreciate knowing that he might have made some of us smile a bit more. He had told me that he wanted to cash in everything and pass away in Venice at a party with all of his friends around him. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. However, I have a strong feeling that Tom is at some grand masked ball in Venice right now. Bravo, Tom, bravo!

One final note: I'm back in Miami for the Winter, and in our front hall we have an old x-ray cart full of handwritten messages from friends who have visited us here. One message is from Tom. It says, "Thanks for the memories!" Back at you, Tom. Back at you.

Simple Tips for Better Webinars - #1

2009-11-25T06:25:00.000-08:00

The other night, while flying home from a client gig, I had the pleasure of being seated next to an interesting husband and wife couple. (Yes, it was coach. I am fiscally-responsible with client T&E dollars.) After striking up conversation, we realized that all three of us were periodically hosting webinars in our work. The wife, who I'll call Carol (as that was her name,) lamented the fact that in her webinars she lost face-to-face engagement with the audience. It made her nervous, and impacted her ability to connect and use humor as she would in face-to-face presentations. I asked her about the technological capabilities present in her webinars. Basic PowerPoint slides. Audio through a telephone conference line. Chat. That's it. The group-size was usually about 20-30. I asked Carol what she was doing during that period of the webinar. "Waiting and thinking," she said. My suggestion to Carol: Leverage the time before the webinar (just as if she were in a face-to-face presentation) to connect with participants.

A simple webinar tip: As your participants join, watch the attendee list, and use the chat function to welcome individuals, and strike up a brief conversation. I've learned over the years that a presenter's hypothalamus is throbbing with nerves, fear, and anxiety right before a presentation. Many presenters will go inward during that time frame. It's normal, and a trap. Instead, venture out into the audience. When we're in a physical space with participants, this means stepping away from your laptop and striking up conversation with people as they arrive. In my coaching of presenters, I'll encourage them to use this time strategically to warm up both themselves and the audience. In a webinar, the same thing is needed, but the 'venturing out' requires the use of technology. In terms of the aforementioned hypothalamus, using the time before the presentation to connect shows our fight or flight mechanism that there's nothing to fear. It also shows participants, who also have their own anxieties about being in a session, that participation is both welcomed and easy.

Long story short: Carol tried this simple trick, and it worked. No surprise there for me. I learned it years ago. As a high-introvert by nature, my instincts are always to bury my head in the presentation slides as participants are entering. That, of course, does nothing to soothe my nerves. So, I dare to step away from the comfort of my laptop, to meet, greet, and connect. Simple, yes, and very strategic.

Another tip to encourage connection is, if possible, to have a welcome slide with pictures of all of the participants of the webinar. This allows individuals to see who is joining, match a face to a name, relax into the session, and strike up conversations either on the phone or through chat if they wish. Tactically, this means that someone needs to collect pictures of participants and paste them onto a PowerPoint slide. I know this may not be possible in all situations, but where it can be done, it makes a big difference. In essence, it replicates what people would see when they enter a physical session room. Faces. If you can't get participant pictures, put up your own. Let people see you, and then connect with them in the moments before the webinar. It's only human, after all.

Good luck!

Show Me the Money!

2009-11-16T06:14:00.000-08:00

Over several recent strategy sessions with sales teams, I've had the same thing put in front of my face again and again: Can you sell a 'relationship' to clients who are focused on, measured on, and fixated on getting the lowest price? Given my natural pragmatism, while I want to say the answer is 'Yes', I know that the challenging and turbulent economy has perhaps changed the rules (or at least the order of the rules) for sales people. The thing that keeps surprising me is how unwilling some sales professionals and their organizations are to imagine that maybe, just maybe, prospects and clients NEED to make buying decisions based primarily on price. Now, you may be thinking, "...but, Ken, we want a real relationship with our clients. We've made a name for ourselves by providing customer-focused, tailored solutions to clients' needs that deliver high results (and parenthetically cost more.)"

My retort to you, "Good luck with that!"

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that this aspirational goal isn't noble. However, I am suggesting that the way to get to that goal may be more driven by economics and pricing than ever before. Perhaps, instead of leading with the 'we know you so well and care so much' angle, it would be more effective to consider how to structure your solution to be easy to buy and priced attractively for clients. Don't just tell clients you care. Show them by understanding and demonstrating that, through your organization's flexibility and expertise, you have the ability to work with customers in a number of different ways ranging from 'down and dirty' (low price) to 'highly customized' (higher price). Take it as a point of pride that you can be 'easy to buy'. If the value equation has changed for clients during this challenging economic time, then perhaps the sequence and hierarchy of what we sell should change. Position yourself as easy to work with, streamlined, reliable, and competitively priced. Then, once inside, demonstrate your value and build the relationship, increasing switching costs as you do.

This approach isn't necessarily easier. It requires true creativity, focus, and stripping out elements of your recommendation (and pricing) that aren't critical to the client's needs. It requires knowing the customer even better than you had to before. It requires questioning things that your own organization sees as 'sacred cows' that MUST be in every solution. Ah, yes...true creativity is born from constraint. Watch a few episodes of 'MacGyver' and see how you can do more for your clients with less, making it easier for them to justify and buy you.

New Evidence That Bullets Don't Work

2009-10-16T06:40:00.000-07:00

Over the past few weeks, in prep for some future blog entries, I've been reflecting upon the many experiences I've had in the classroom or client meeting room, presenting concepts accompanied by 'the assistance' of less than optimal PowerPoint slides. During my reflection, I got engaged in a new piece of research by Chris Atherton, a cognitive psychologist, on the impact of bullets in a presentation. For any of you who present regularly, you already know that bulleted slides, when used incorrectly, can hurt your audience. (They don't call them 'bullets' for nothing.) Take a look at Chris's research below, and the postings that follow. My hope is that you'll find some kindred spirits, or some helpful hints (including some from yours truly) for your next presentation.

Click here to see a summary of Chris Atherton's research on the use of bullets in presentations.

Are You Serious? A Short Story of Business Immorality

2009-08-28T10:55:00.000-07:00

I'm writing this a little short of breath as a result of a morning conversation with my friend Tom who has just been diagnosed with brain cancer.

Tom is about my age, and the cancer struck out of nowhere. As he described it, he was having coffee in a coffee shop, when his foot fell asleep. He kicked a pole next to him a few times in an attempt to wake it up. Next thing he knew, he was coming to in the hospital. Apparently, he had collapsed. The doctors, upon testing, found two tumors in his head. So, off to exploratory surgery, and then the news: brain cancer. While the doctors are unwilling to give a definite estimate of his life expectancy after chemo and radiation, the range of 1-2 years was mentioned.

The news from him on our call this morning hit me like a punch to the gut. However, this punch was nothing compared to the one-two punch he has received from the diagnosis and the situation below.

This devastating diagnosis came to Tom just as he was forging ahead with a new chapter in his life. He had, just two weeks before, placed an offer on a condo in Hallandale, Florida. It's a fixer-upper, and part of an estate. He's handy and creative. Making it home would be a massive, but pleasurable project for him. The offer was accepted, and he had a great deal on the table. The above collapse happened after the offer was accepted, but before inspections and the closing. To be clear, the condo is not yet his.

As you might imagine, given the diagnosis of brain cancer, purchasing and renovating a condo are not in Tom's cards. Adding insult to injury, he's self-employed, and without health insurance. (Please, America, let's fix this!) The cost of treatment will be immense, and take any and all of his current resources. He will be destitute at the end by all calculations. It is possible for him to end up as a ward of the state. So, a representative from the title company placed a call on his behalf to the selling agent, updating them on the news, and asking to back out of the deal on the table. Here's the kicker: the selling agent called back and said, "I 'Googled' the type of brain cancer he has, and he can live for another year. We're not letting him out of the deal." ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

After hearing this, I called a realtor friend of mine who told me that contractually, a health issue is not a legal reason to back out of a deal. However, even with that, she was shocked at the callous, immoral way in which the selling agent handled the situation. It makes me sad to know that there are people out there who call themselves professionals, and yet operate in a manner that is nothing short of evil. What sort of company culture, management philosophy, and economic pressures could lead the selling agent to think that making a terminally-ill person purchase a condo they can't afford is just? How responsible is it to bring someone into a condo association that won't be able to afford the condo fees, let alone the mortgage due to climbing health costs? Am I overreacting? Am I expecting humanity and compassion to enter into the world of business? Is this too much to ask?

This situation is still in the works, but, perhaps as part of my own understanding of it, I needed to write this entry. Despite all of this, Tom laughed with me on the phone this morning. He's an amazing person, full of joy and humor. What's the lesson here? Is there one?

Coaching and The First Timer

2009-08-15T09:07:00.000-07:00

Oh, the responsibility of being someone's 'first time'...on a coaching call, that is. I do not take this role lightly. If done well, the coachee will feel respected, and that the time spent was of value. If done poorly, well...while there's no literal 'walk of shame' for the coachee, there most likely won't be a second time.

This past Thursday, I conducted four coaching calls, each with 'first timers'. Apparently, there are a lot of people who have never had a coaching call. (Mental note made about untapped market.) With the emphasis so many organizations place on professional development and performance, I do find that to be curious. Perhaps it my naivete that thinks that everyone has been coached at some point in their career. I mean, nearly every professional has a manager. Everyone must be getting coached by that manager. Clearly, I'm wrong in that thinking.

During the beginning of each of the four calls, I asked the question, "Have you ever had a coaching call before?" After hearing the answers, and knowing that these were first timers, my initial focus was on easing each coachee into the process by providing both a welcoming voice on the other end of the phone, and clarity about the purpose, flow, and expected outcome of the call. With the coachee's questions of clarity answered, I checked to see if we could move forward. Then, we dove together headfirst into the body of the call. I listened. I asked questions. I showed true curiousity about things being said. I had the coachees compare and contrast things being said with things said earlier on the call. I shared pointers. Basically, I coached.

Flash forward to the end of each of the four calls, when I asked, "So, how was this call for you?" The answers were surprising to me.

"This was great...easier than I thought it would be."

"Better than I thought it would be. I got practical advice that I can actually use."

"I wasn't looking forward to it. I thought it would be like spending an hour on the phone with some therapist."

"I didn't think this call would be helpful. Can I schedule another with you?"

Interesting. So, even with what I thought to be high-clarity established at the onset of the call, the proverbial jury was still out for the coachee about the purpose and value of a coaching call. Apparently, and perhaps understandably, true clarity of the call's value came only at the end of the call after the coachee answered the question, "So, what have you taken away as your next steps from our time together?"

These four calls bring a few things to mind for me:

Adults learn through action and reflection. Try something. Look at what you did. Try something better. It's only upon reflection, looking back over progress, that we see what we've learned. With the absence of reflection, we never learn. Ah, this is why 'History is doomed to repeat itself.' Reflection, half of the equation, does not happen in the real world at the rate it should, or at all. Our preference, and our organizations' push, for action gets in the way. Do. Don't stop. Just do.
Coaching is a nebulous, undefined thing for many. Some people believe it to be useless talking...something to just do and check off a list. Others believe it borders on therapy. It's weird, strange, and a sign of weakness to need it.
Coaching doesn't happen in the workplace as much as one might believe. These conversations, where someone listens, asks questions, and helps us think are rare.
Managers, while the most likely candidates to do the coaching, often don't or can't. (Insert "...but, Ken, I don't have the time" here.) To add insult to injury, who is coaching these managers? Most likely, no one. (Circle back to the first bullet. Lather, rinse, repeat.)

So, while the main purpose of these four coaching calls with first timers was for me to help them, they helped to reinforce for me the importance of a dedicated coach and a trusted coaching relationship. Without it, learning decreases. Performance stagnates. Motivation dips. Results become elusive. Not that I was doubting any of that. However, it's nice to see things through the eyes of a first timer.

Management and The Garbo Effect

2009-07-25T07:57:00.000-07:00

While many claim she never said it, Greta Garbo is often quoted as having said, “I want (or rather ‘vant’) to be alone.” It would have been understandable had she said it. She was known as the most perfect face on the silver screen. The Guinness Book of World Records even voted her as the most beautiful woman who ever lived. Hungry fans clamored for news about her every move. She was, perhaps, the Lindsay Lohan of her day. (Insert Garbo rolling in grave here.) Running from peering fans and paparazzi have become normal for many of today’s celebrities. However, managers, or at least the managers that I’ve met, are not celebrities. Fans trying to snag a lock of their hair do not chase them down the office corridor. So, why do they so often run and hide from their people?

Some managers seem to have a fundamental aversion to the people part of their role. I had one leader say to me with complete conviction, “I’m not here to worry about people. They’re professionals being paid for a job that they’re supposed to do. I don’t have time for this people stuff.” Ah, so time, or lack there of, makes them run! Of course, I understand the underlying sentiment. A manager’s time is valuable and limited. Work still needs to happen. Plans have to be met. I might have had to agree with this particular manager, if it weren’t for the fact that he was continually forced to step in and take over tasks for his people. While the first brush of a solution is often seen as a ‘Time Management Course’, perhaps it is my own slightly dysfunctional childhood that gave me the lesson early on that people (and their whims, emotions, egos, blood sugar levels, etc.) are what throw even the best plans asunder. People, like children, need attention, or they’ll find a way to get it. Prioritizing a list of tasks and assigning time frames is easy. Management, too, would be easy if it weren’t for the people.

Yet, for many of the managers that I have coached, this concept of having to tend to people is not only foreign, but distasteful. “I’m here to focus on results, not babysit!” they’ll say. Frankly, these can be some of the most rewarding and results-producing coaching conversations. In those conversations, my goal is not to make these managers over into ‘people people’, but rather to help them connect people and performance. As those of us who know the work of Dr. David McClelland are aware, the ‘Affiliative’ leader does not have the easiest time of producing results, becoming embroiled in drama and internal struggles to failing to make tough choices. So, the case can be made that becoming a people person is not the answer.

When I first encounter a manager in a coaching conversation, I often hear, “I’ve got too much to do. I just don’t see a way to make this better.” Over time , and even after a first coaching conversation, that same individual has identified a key adaptation to their approach with his/her people that makes time magically appear. For example, by identifying and preparing for new delegation opportunities, the manager begins to find ways to free up time. Problem solved…for the time being.

While the quote ‘I want to be alone’ is debated, Greta Garbo did actually say this: “Being a movie star…means being looked at from every possible direction. You are never left at peace, you’re just fair game.” So, managers, take that for what it’s worth. Perhaps, to your people, you’re just fair game.

If the Role Doesn’t Fit…

2009-07-25T07:36:00.000-07:00

I vividly (Note, I did not say ‘fondly’.) remember my own transition from individual contributor to manager in a consulting firm some years ago. While I was not the strongest player in the beginning, eventually, through experience and coaching, I became quite good. I had worked my way up the individual contributor ladder, taking on increasingly complex client projects, and often being the only one still standing at the end. My client satisfaction, which we measured throughout every ‘gig’, was high. Projects were brought in on time and on budget. Several were even award winning. Obviously, the next logical step in my career was to become the consulting group team lead. Right? In the eyes of my company and my leader, the answer to that question was, “Of course.”

However, I had a sneaking suspicion that it might not be the best move for me. Truth be told, it was more than a suspicion. I knew that the role was not right for me. Now, I know what you’re thinking. Did you tell this to your leader? Yes. Several times. He laughed at me, thinking that it was just my modesty. After all, who wouldn’t want to be the team leader? In hindsight, I should have provided more substantive data as to why I was not the right fit for the role. Perhaps a PowerPoint on the topic with a two-by-two showing ‘Ken’s Motivation’ as the ‘x’ axis, and ‘Direct Access to Customers’ as the ‘y’ axis could have illustrated the lack of fit. Certainly, that would have been helpful in getting my argument heard. Yet, that was before I knew about The Ladder of Inference. Long story short: My verbal, ill-described concerns about fit went unheeded, and I officially became a team lead.

With that, I was given my team, an HR binder, and sent on my way. I’m sure you can use your imagination to picture the fun and lessons that ensued as I fell into new manager trap after trap. My favorite of these traps came in the form of a new PhD graduate who joined my team as a consultant. His educational credentials were the stuff of dreams. His lack of direct application of those credentials…the stuff of nightmares. Each night after work, I spent a minimum of two hours ‘coaching’ him. In reality, I spent two hours giving him unwarranted attention, and perhaps enabling an ongoing lack of fit for him in his new role. He eventually left for greener, academic pastures. What is it that Mark Twain said? “Good judgment comes from experience. And where does experience come from? Experience comes from bad judgment.” Unfortunate and true. Now, my experience would seem typical if it weren’t for the fact that the firm for which I worked specialized in management and leadership training. While they were and are masterful at helping clients to build management bench strength, in this case we were the proverbial ‘cobblers children’. So, even the experts struggle with successfully selecting and skilling their new managers, it would seem. Given my profession, I do have a bias that training helps immensely to uncover issues and improve performance. I’m certain that with the right coaching, training, and, most importantly, reframing of my own perception of my value, I might have eventually liked the role, and found it to be a fit for me. But, as a friend of mine often says, “Shoulda, coulda, woulda.’

Two years passed, at the end of which I decided to transition into a new role: independent consultant, leaving the full-time caress of my firm for the unknown realm of self-employment. I remember the moment of resolution coming during my annual performance review. My boss said to me, “You were right, Ken. You said it, but I didn’t want to hear it. I should’ve listened to you.” Shoulda, coulda, woulda. My decision to leave, while strange to many, gave me exactly what I wanted: The ability to choose my customers, and to be directly linked to both them and the results of our work together. This, in hindsight was what I had always wanted. It was where I felt I did my best work, it was where I added value, and it was where I got my highest level of motivation. The clients were always different, and therefore I could never be bored. Seven years later, that has proven to be true. I love the decision, and the fit is undeniable. As for the consulting firm, we still work together often, and my loyalty and, dare I say love have not waned. By my having achieved a successful fit with them over the past seven years, my love for them has grown.

How can one help to ease the transition into a new role? Establishing a coaching relationship with a trusted thinking partner has, in my experience, been one important step. Through ongoing, targeted coaching, the newly promoted are able to reframe their perception of self-value, and increase their overall performance. In this situation, a coach acts as a tailor, who through a deft eye and nimble hands, takes the seemingly unflattering and helps to make it a perfect fit.

The Management Surprise

2009-07-23T15:14:00.000-07:00

The more coaching calls I have with mid- to senior-level managers in major corporations, the more I’m struck by one simple truth: Some get it. Some don’t. Even for those who get it, the stories they tell as to how they 'got it' are compelling, and usually rife with hard lessons about the transition from strong individual contributor to that of manager/leader. Interestingly, those who have made it through this journey still do not openly refer to themselves as highly-competent leaders. “I’ve been a manager for 23 years,” one coachee recently said to me, “and I’m still not as good at managing as I’d like to be.” While it might be modesty underpinning this statement, my hypothesis is that many managers have come to realize another simple truth: Management and leadership are about people, and people are infinitely complex. Therefore, it will be forever impossible for these leaders to feel that they have reached mastery level. After all, how can you ever master playing a game when the rules, board, and pieces of that game are constantly changing?

For many new managers, this lack of a clear answer is dizzyingly frustrating. Afterall, the way in which they got promoted to the management ranks was by demonstrating a high-level of technical competence, and knowing the answers. They had a series of goals and tasks to carry out, and by having done so with greater results than their peers, they were promoted to the ethereal cloud of management. Direct reports were assigned. Team goals were communicated. The cubicle was traded in for an office (or more likely a cube with a view.) Success was assured. Then, reality set in. Management requires one to ‘deal’ with people, their performance, and, in many cases, their baggage. Newer managers are surprisingly…well…surprised by this fact.

Any of us who have been in this situation can empathize with the ‘management surprise’. We had mastered so many challenging tasks, survived so many complex projects, met so many unrealistic deadlines. Why was confidence (and perhaps more importantly, results) as a manager alluding us? Suffice it to say that management would be easy if it weren’t for the people. Now, this cliché isn’t meant to be dismissive or glib. It’s meant to clearly state a primary challenge for managers: people. For those managers who ‘get it’, they recognize that the task of effectively dealing with people is a new, primary part of their role. For those managers that ‘don’t get it’, they overindulge, ignore, or even resist the fact that the care and feeding of people is now their job.

The response of many organizations who desire to help managers be less surprised is to send them to a management training class. Now, in the spirit of full disclosure, I facilitate management training sessions for clients all the time. I’d be hurting my own business to say that training wasn’t a part of the solution. However, as many of you know, a training class alone can’t completely solve this complex and challenging dilemma. It can certainly help, but a classroom experience leaves much untapped, unexplored, and therefore unsolved. This is why an effective coaching relationship becomes a key part of the solution. Not only can confidential, candid conversations surface issues specific to a unique manager, but over time they can explore targeted solutions to these issues, and ultimately produce results. In many cases, it is a small adaptation of the manager’s approach. In others, it is a more fundamental shift in their belief structure about the role of the manager. In either scenario, individual, dedicated coaching can speed progress, and keep managers from being blindsided by the natural and classic surprise of the manager’s role: People.